Musings

Remember those days when you and your girl friends talked about good-looking seniors? How you guys felt triumphant when you managed to spot his name on the name tag?
And how you guys looked forward to recess time just to see more of him? With luck, he may be some prominent figures (i.e. monitor, prefect, librarians) so it is easier to spot. For really hardcore ones, they would go to the extent of sourcing the yearbook. Those were the lower secondary school days.


Those were crushes. Superficial feelings. Yet it could make one blush (*cough* fj) or have rapid heartbeats (I admit I did have the latter sign.) at the mere sight of the guy.

As we grow up, our values change, so do the attraction criteria among guys. Somehow, it is harder to meet someone who can make your heart skip a beat. Is it because that attractive guys are dwindling? I think not. It probably has to do with our changing mindsets.We now know the difference between a mere eye-candy or an actual 'falling in 'like'. (I am not used to using the word 'love' for it is something so deep to me)


Most importantly, we girls now have an unconscious filter that actually sieves through the candidates. You see a cute guy who is holding a girl's handbag, automatically your filter works to sieve him away. You will no longer have fantasy about him. You meet someone who is dashing, yet shorter/younger than you. For some, this is a no-no so there goes another elimination. It is because we take into account the future that we are less
likely to like someone at this stage.


Two things I ponder about, which I am sure the opinions vary. How big a part is religion in a relationship? To me, it is very big if one party is a religious one. It is unlikely that a staunch christian and a religious buddhist will find a lot of common grounds. As it is, religion is already a sensitive issue. I have a christian friend who have (I hope it is still 'have') a christian girlfriend. In reply to my praise for the girl,  his mum said, 'it is not enough to love God. She must fear God too.'  From this, I already have my glimpse of how certain christians connect- It is not just about the religion, it involves thinking at the same league.


I was born a Buddhist yet I have some kind of fate with Christianity. I used to stay in a shop house with the lower lot rented to a chapel. I used to go Sunday school for a few times, I even acted out in a play *as flower girl only though*. I have had piano teachers who are Christians themselves, hence, we used to have gift-exchange sessions during Christmas and also playing Christmas carols. I LOVE all the stories revolved around Christmas as a kid, and I have always enjoyed playing Christmas carols.  


Came secondary school and I was sent to a Methodist school. I did occasionally go to morning chapels simply because I love those songs. However, I never converted as somehow I cannot relate with Christianity. As in, I don't feel the intensity that the Christians do. I have doubts and questions about certain things. For me, I am a simple person -I do not want to delve deep into things; I believe that all religions are just different ways of 'looking at the diamond' (quoting PPP), so I remain open-minded. Not to mention, I had a bad experience in a charimatic christian camp; somehow I hope those Christians will remain open-minded and not condemn other religions. (I know not all Christians are like that ^^)


Usually people who have experienced some life-changing events will feel the power of God and turn their faith to Him.  Two years back, years back, due to circumstance, I was guided to the path again. That time, I took a further step- I started reading the bible (never went too far though). I appreciate the good intentions of my ex-piano teacher and friends who prayed for me. Yet, somehow, even after that event, I didn't embrace Christianity, for I just didn't feel that strong link. I don't know how to put in words but I guess all I can say is 'the time is not here (yet)'. I am still a believer in YOUR fate is in your hands, YOU have to help yourself if you are faced with troubles.


I did attend a Christmas service in my friend's church last year. I pay tribute to my ancestors, and attend charity sale during Wesak day. I am open-minded. Somehow I just don't know how to tell my friends at times who wish to bring me to church. 
I know they like to spread the love of God, but to some people, they are just not ready. 
If you push even more, it is going to widen the distance. Let things happen naturally.


Gosh, how did this guy-talk thingy evolve to religion? Ah, so as I was saying, I always feel pitiful when I meet a guy, who has the good demenour yet is a stauch Christian. My unconscious filter will be at work.


I mentioned two things. The second one will be, how do you differentiate a platonic friendship and a potential relationship?
My mum did tell me that 'not all relationships happen with sparks in the air and rapid heartbeats'. Dad also jokingly told me 'the korean character in drama doesn't exist in real life. If that is the person you are waiting for, he will never come'. LOL.
My point is, you have a good guy friend whom you can be yourself in front of him. You can confide in him and you two are at the same wavelength. Yet you never think of him that way. He is a potential one (judging from criteria) but you guys are so used to each other that, 
you never think you two will be in a relationship. Sounds familiar, anyone?


Wow, I have written so much. I guess the lack of social life during study break has resulted us in stalking, which has reminded me of the good old days. haha.