The X-Files: The Unexplained Guy

A long time ago, a girl called Rainie met a guy Exodus online. He was in the same college as her but they were never in the same class. A series of events happened and he started sms-ing her at night to 'chat'. He would tell her what he did that day, how happy he felt after winning a match, or tell her sweet things that are not going to be mentioned here.

He had a bet with her and he lost it. So he was supposed to take her out for a meal at Strudels. However, he did not fulfill the promise even after being probed by Rainie. He kept telling her that he had to wait for his dad to get him a car so that he could take her out. Isn't this the most ridiculous things that you all have ever heard? Why couldn't Exodus ask her out for the friendly meal just like that? Rainie cannot believe that a promise of a meal can be UNFULFILLED for 2 years.

In person, Exodus hardly talked to Rainie though they have many mutual friends. One day, Exodus wanted to pass Rainie a Chrismas songs CD. He waited for his whole class to disperse, then he called Rainie out form her class to pass her that CD. Rainie felt that it was so thoughtful of him to remember that she likes Christmas songs, howewer, she remained perplexed as to why he needed to wait for his whole class to leave before he met up with her.

At the end of their course, Rainie went to a place for vacation and she accidentally lost her hand phone. When she got her new number, she decided NOT to let Exodus know because to her, this guy is just NOT sincere and is not worth keeping as a friend. If he could be saying all the sweet things to her almost every night, he could be doing that to other girls as well. Furthermore, a guy who doesn't fulfill his promises ain' a gentleman. She had tried so many times to justify the fact that Exodus is SHY; that he needed more time. However, if he is still thinking of his ex-girlfriend, then why can' he have mercy on her and not do all those things that he did to her for so long?

Fine, Rainie believes that God has plans for ALL OF US and everything happens for a reason. So fate brought Exodus and her back for the second time. She was online one fine day and he said, 'Still owe you one lunch.' She felt like telling him why must he waited one year plus to take her out? However, being polite, she merely said, 'lunch?' to which Exodus replied brilliantly, 'Or was it dinner?’

When Rainie visited her best friend who happened to be in the same university as Exodus, he called her and asked her where she was. She did not tell him that she was visiting. After that event and a couple of smses that he sent to wish her luck in her new semester, the sms chain reaction started again. And one fine day, he called her and they chatted till the wee hour in the morning.

For the second time, Rainie thought that she really got to know him as his real self. They went out many times together alone for movies and meals. He would occasionally surprise her with a 'can food'that turned out to be a soft toy in it and her favourite chocolate. One day, he even had the courage to let her drive his dad's manual car knowing that she has not driven for a long time. He wrote a passage about her and encoded it. He asked her to spend time decoding it and the keyword to decode it turned out to be her name.

Things seemed to be going well. However, are they just friends? Rainie had a few good guy friends too. They could have heartfelt talks and send gifts to each other at times, but not at the frequency that Exodus was at. In addition, they do not sms her at night before they sleep. They only sms her when there is an outing or gathering. For the second time, must Rainie wait another one year plus? It had been 6 LONG months already. Do you know that some girls have already changed boy friends in this duration? She doesn't have so many one-year plus to wait for someone whom she doesn't know what he thinks. She thinks she has given up on so many sceneries that beckoned her to join them throughout her journey to somewhere that she doesn't even know.

Her guy friends who know Exodus think that he has always been a shy guy and he needs more triggers from her side. They urge her to ask him about their status and where they are heading once and for all, so that it is fair for her and he must cease dragging her time. So one day, before Rainie left for a vacation with her friends, she left little notes to him that imply the question, 'Are we just friends?'While she was on a vacation, she got sms from him that seemed to be heading towards the positive side, 'I did ponder over the notes. Waiting for you to come back oh. We go out when you come back k?'

Sometimes things may not be what they seem and this is the case. When she got back, her good friend called Exodus and asked him if he likes her in that sense. He said NO. He justified the fact the he could go out with her whenever he likes since he enjoys her companionship. He added that all those things that he did is NORMAL to a NORMAL GIRL FRIEND. Her friend tried not to tell her the truth but Rainie could tell anyway. This friend of Rainie and two of her other guy friends told Rainie to confront him so that this whole shit doesn' t get any worse.
Having always been a girl who follows elegant female practice, she was not keen on the idea of asking Exodus, 'Do you like me?' However, her friends told her that she wouldn't be satisfied until she hears it from his mouth. Since Rainie was so unfortunate to meet with a guy who cannot handles things initiatively, she resorted to calling him out for lunch.

'I have no grudges against whatever the outcome is, so here is the t-shirt I got from you from my vacation,' said Rainie.
'I think I know the answer, but I want to hear it from you myself. I have always been a low-profile person, but since you are not being initiative, I have to settle this myself. Do you like me in that sense?'
'Actually I wanted to tell you that I like you as a friend,' said Exodus matter-of-factly.

Rainie then proceeded to ask him to justify why he had done all those sweet things to her that even her close guy friends admitted to her that they wouldn't do it to any normal girl friend.
Rainie was utterly disappointed when he said, 'Sometimes things don't need explanations. I think it is normal to do it to a normal girl friend.'

'If there is one thing that needs no explanations, it is LOVE, which is not in our case. I am so angry at myself now. How can I only learn my lessons after TWO TIMES from the SAME GUY in the SAME MANNER?' Rainie said sadly.

'Quoting the story of a girl who told her mum that he friends hurt her, if you were to ask me if you did hurt me, I would say yes. Where? It is here,' said Rainie, pointing to her heart.
'After this, I can no longer look at guys the same way again. Because if a guy were to sms me and say all the sweet things to me before he sleeps, and take me out for meals and dinners and give surprised gifts to me, be there when I was down and share his happiness with me, I would think that he is doing it 'as a normal friend la'. I will not read it as a hint that he is interested in me,' said her to him, who is remaining silent. Either he was racking his brains for excuses to justify his wrongdoings, or he was thinking of how to rebuke her.

'I am really sorry for misleading you ok,' he said. Rainie could not detect a minute piece of remorse in his tone.

'You must understand that you have put a scar on my heart, just like how there is a crack at the cup here,' she said, pointing towards a container as an analogy.

'Although from another perspective, my heart looks intact, a scar is still a scar. Things will never be the same again to me,' she said disappointedly.

Rainie felt truly relieved for throwing away this burden. She is thankful that after the incident with Exodus, she really knows what she looks for in a guy. A guy who is decisive, able to speak up about his thoughts, knows what he is doing and always thinks FOR girls like Rainie. And all these cannot be found in Exodus. Rainie still can't understand why she saw all the good in him that seemed to have covered his downside last time.
Rainie could have just not done anything and continued to go out wth Exodus when he asked her out. After all, she had nothing to lose since he always paid for the movies and meals. However, she is a person who is decisive and wants to clarify things. She doesn't wish to take advantage of Exodus. After all, good friends can treat each other, but NOT at the rate Exodus was doing.

This is perhaps the end of the story. My dear readers, can anyone come up with any explanation as to what Exodus was up to?

1. Exodus cannot be a flirt.
He is a shy guy who hardly mingles with girls. Even if it is flirting, a guy doesn't go so deep. Perhaps he would say something like, 'got miss me ah?' when he meets the girl.

2. Exodus denied the fact that he was using Rainie as a lifebuoy.
Rainie did question him on this possibility. However, he denied it on the spot, saying that, 'That was so long ago.'In fact, his first and only relationship thus far merely lasted less than 2 months. With all the things that happened in 6 months, Rainie really wondered what he could manage to do to his ex-girlfriend in two short months.

3. Exodus cannot be treating Rainie as 'just a normal friend'.
Do you sms your normal friend whom you are quite close to (opposite sex) whenever you feel like sharing your happiness or sadness? Do you give her gifts several times out of the blue (it is NOT her birthday)?
Do you always take her to chun places like Fish and Co., Italiannies, Chilis, Kim Gary, Kluang Station and California Pizza Kitchen and for ALL THE TIME, you paid for the bill? Not a gold-digger, Rainie tried to repay him by getting chocolates for his sister, secretly paying for the meal when she went to washroom to give him face (it is not so nice for a girl to pay in front of the waiter, with the guy present) and treating him movies.

I really cannot come up with a better answer, knowing that Rainie is still blur as to the misfortune that befell her, I would like to dedicate this poem I read somewhere to her, as well as to other girls who have the misfortune of being in 'grey areas':
Letting Go
To let go doesn't mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it is the realization that I don't control another.
To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, I can only change myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more.