Death and Bereavement

Due to the fact that Mr. Andrew has been complaining about my 'obsession' with 'love/like' posts, I have decided to take a deep plunge and talk about this morbid topic. haha.
Actually I am revising for my upcoming behavioural science test (40% of this module) and I come across something which I would like to share.
A famous American physician called Elizabeth Kubler Ross carried out a study of dying patients. She challenged the taboos of discussing dying and identified the needs of dying patient. She described 5 stages of dying. I have actually heard about these 5 stages at a talk prior to entering uni. So for general knowledge sake, I shall put it down here for you all.

Denial
Is often the patient’s first reaction to being told the news; learning that life will not continue, as they thought it would, can be a severe shock. This may be followed by:

Anger
The patient begins to look for a scapegoat and may resent others including health professionals. Even elderly people may become bitter and resentful as they near the end of their lives.

Bargaining
May take place in which the patient promises to be good or very compliant in return for more time to live.

Depression
If death seems unavoidable, the patient may become very depressed and withdraw from all social contact and even refuse to co-operate with treatment. They may be mourning their own death in anticipation.

Acceptance
The final stage-the patient becomes resigned and may make farewells. Subsequently studies have found that these are not chronological stages and that many patients may move from one to another or miss out a stage all together. Patients may also be very anxious, about the nature of their dying, or uncontrolled pain.

Reference: A. Beth, Psychology of Health, 2^nd Edition, harwood academic publishers, 1999; p. 265-66
*wink* I HATE citing references-it is worse than writing the essay itself. However, in my portfolio and essay (40% of my behavioral science module), I have to do it in a particular format. And the format I used here ie Vancouver System.
For those of you all who are new to this, Welcome to the World of Vancouver, Harvard and the like. =P Have a GREAT time poring over books to look for all these details and the pages where you take the info from. If you think you can get away by surfing online, you are so wrong. There is a format for that too.

Recently I have heard of a number of loss, it is indeed saddening. In feb, my fren's aunty passed away. Now she has to rush up and down to singapore to see her grandma who is having terminal lung cancer. Just a month ago, I lost my maternal grandma-she passed away due to excessive bleeding in the GI tract, weak heart and partial kidney failure.
My mum was so down; everytime when she fetched my sis to chs, she will pass by UMMC and the memories of sending my granma there will flood back. I comforted her by telling her taht it was a blessing in disguise when we found out that she injured her back during CNY. So we took her to stay with us, sent her for treatment. Throughout these few short months, I feel that she felt the warmth which she as deprived back in sg siput. Her sons and daughters-in-law were too busy, and they were all brushing aside the responsibility. It is sad, quoting my mum, 'Satu ibu boleh jaga 10 anak, 10 anak tidak boleh jaga 1 ibu' (she said it was a Malay saying she learnt as a kid)
So back here, some relative dropped by and visited my grandma, even my 85-year-old neighbour and my mum's best fren's mum who is 74, came and visit. Although my late grandma couldnt converse with them(as she spoke only Hakka, she could understand Cantonese but couldn't speak it), she could feel the care and concern. My mum even called back China to let my granma 'speak' to her relatives there using I talk.
However, I really didn't expect her to leave us so soon. It was a Tuesday afternoon when my dad fetched me, and he told me that grandma was sent to hospital as she was having breathing difficulty in the morning. So upon reaching home, I got my mum phone call, telling me to setlte some household stuff as she wouldnt be back so soon. It was said that my grandma had to wait for her turn to be admitted to ICU. *sob*
Later at night, around 9 plus p.m. , my mum came back with my kakak, exhausted. She took a quick shower, ate and then asked my kakak to pack her stuff. My mum told us that granma had been admitted to geriatrics ward and is on oxygen. Her haemoglobin count was extremely low.
We all (sisters) planned to visit grandma in UMMC the next day; meanwhile all we could do was hope and pray hard.
The next morning, I woke up at 6plus am and under the half-awake stage, I saw my kakak walking into my sis's room. Isn't she suppsoed to be in hospital? So I asked, 'kakak, kenapa kamu di sini? bukan di hospital?'
Then she came in, her eyes red and teary, 'maaf ya, nenek sudah tiada.'
It took me a while to digest that. Then I asked, 'bila? bagaimana?'
She said,' Pukul 2am tadi, setelah doktor memberi suntikan, nenek tidak bernafas. Tangannya sejuk.' So my parents were awaken by a call from the hospital at that time to settle things in hospital.
Not long ago, a fren of mine told me that his fren who migrated to aus came back to visit his terminally ill grandma. His grandpa passed away 3 weeks ago, after that, his grandma left him too.
Then I heard a more shocking news-a girl of our age, whom I knew in badminton session back then in college(she is from a different college), had to come back from uk because she had nose cancer. It is so so shocking, she is so althletic and young.*sob sob*
Hope my fren's grandma will not have to endure agonising pain and that my friend's condition will be improved.
Life is too short, my friends, to think 'what if', just do it when we are still young, alive and kicking!
(of course I am not afvocating drugs, alcohols, smoking and excessive clubbing here)