Please Be Sensitive

I live MY LIFE. Please do NOT contradict yourself by asking me NOT TO GO OUT WITH FRIENDS SO OFTEN, then on the other hand, you ask me why I DO NOT HANG OUT WITH THIS BUNCH OF PEOPLE whom I see everyday.


Sorry but I do NOT like to please people or put on something FAKE face just because you think that I have to work together with them

I can be a professional who can differentiate between formal and informal stuff-unless those people are not able to view things unbiasedly. If I have to work as a group, I WILL BE A TEAM PLAYER. So that does NOT mean that I have to hang out with them, sink my level to their ah bengness, using coarse lame cantonese, cracking cold dirty jokes.


Dad, they are the guys who made a junior guy kissed me for orientation.(luckily he kena my hair only). They are those people who laugh out loudly in class when the lecturer is teaching vaginal drug delivery.

I know what dad and mum u all think. U all think that I am the one who is making a big fuss out of everything; you think that I LOOK DOWN on them because they are from outstation, did stpm and not so well-to-do. you said they are NOT as rich and as blessed as mc frens and help frens, so you say that I AM being that kind of person.


HELL a MILLION TIMES NO!!

I have never forgotten how I used to take the bus with mummy down to the memorial library on sunday when we only had a car and daddy had to work on sundays.

I have never forgotten how u saved and all just so that I could get the quality english tuition from St. Ronan on saturdays.

I have never forgotten how I worked hard to improve my english, being someone who is chinese educated.


I have never forgotten how I used to taste haagen daz ice-cream for the first time in front of sogo in standard 5.

I have never forgotten that we only got our own personal computer when I was standard 6.

NO, I have not forgotten those days; I have never born a rich girl so why should I have attitude like that of a spoilt brat????


I have a gf who is from johor bahru, can't speak good english as she is from a chinese independent high school but we are quite close. In fact, I helped her out with her spelling at times.I also helped this gal who is older than me to proofread her essay before she submitted to the uni; she was translating all directly from chinese so I had to rack my brains to guess.


So this speaks a LOT about me-that I am NOT someone who look down on people just because they are not good in english, or that they are from a not so well-to-do family.

Dad and mum, I have been misunderstood!!

How many times did you all ask me about HOW I FEEL when those guys did those jerky things to me??
How many times did I ever complain to you that they teased me when I go to washroom? No I did not tell you, because I know you have enough things to care about and you think it is not big deal how I should feel.

How many times did you SPEAK TO MY HEART???

I cannot recall when, for each time you talk to me, it will be'
'friends so important, ask your friends to pay for your education!!'

'gatherings, birhdays, farewell, homecoming... I have had enough! In MY TIMES, we only had gathering once in a year'.


'You must READ more, gain more knowledge. Why can' you stay back in the library?'
(I do my reports, portfolio, presentation, highlight notes, do tutorials, read lab manuals, do extra notes especially when the notes are not clear. I PREFER TO STUDY IN MY ROOM AT NIGHT.
I just have not memorised those facts because I like to LEARN and I do not want to evolve into a memorizing-regurgitating machine. That will suck the fun out of learning!!)


If I do not go out for 6 hours, I will NOT be studying at home for 6 hours. I would be online for at least one hour, watch tv for another one hour, sleep for another one hour. With some mood, the maximum I can do is 3 hours. So what's wrong with going out?

I told you I did not want to go manhattan fish market because it is costly and I wanna save $$ since I am going out 2 days in a row.

BUt you said, 'no it is NOT about money. It is about WASTING TIME'

If I think that I am NOT wasting my time, it means that I am NOT wasting my time. I need to chill.

DO NOT tell me that I am a spoilt kid because I met my STPM girlfriend in megamall with her friends.


You,
If you think that asking your friend 'so are u doing pilot?' when he is not doing, is memalukan-ning you, you can tell me in a tactful way.

Please do not give me that white-eyed look and said' sometimes it is better if you SPEAK LESS'.

If you think it is weird just because he is your friend and he may think that it is you who told me he wanna do pilot, let me say this.

He was a prefect and we had interaction as well-so it means that I know him as ABC(his name), not just your friend. So what's wrong with asking that question??


Anyway it is NOT like you are darn tactful in talking. Ever since we walked different path, you crossed path with some people who are something like those guys in my uni. Yes, they are not as bad, but somehow you start to pick up the sarcastic remarks that can pierce into my heart.

I know you are still you, and once you leave this phase of life, you will be ok as you move on to uni. So I thought I shall give you the benefit of doubt.

But I feel damn hurt when you should say that to me. By the way, your friend was NOT being tactful too-she said something like 'hey you update your friendster blog quite frequently-say doctors bad and all'

I was rather taken aback but at that time I wasn't that offended, so I just smiled and said 'I didnt say that-I even wrote a post as a tribute to doctors. Please read carefully'.

So you see, The reason I get pissed now is that, you think I am insensitive, when YOU yourself and your good friend are being that!!!


Thank you chee wei, aiky wye, fu sheng, sara and ming hong for being there. It is just hard for me to express, and sorry for everything. This post is like telling you all what happened.