Shattered!

I never thought I would be blogging so soon, yet what happened 5 minutes ago prompted me to do so.

I was walking a bit fast down the stairs, carrying my dirty clothes and 2 trays with 3 glass cups that my two youngest sisters had left in the computer room this morning. In fact, as I met them at the 2^nd floor, they were coming down to take shower; I asked them to help carry, only to be answered back rudely, ‘We are not free, we are going to take shower.’ Never mind the fact that they are going to take shower downstairs and that they could have helped to carry. After all, it was their duty to do so since they ate and drank in the computer room. However, not wanting to spark an argument, I decided to do it myself.

As I was descending the stairs, I lost my footing and slipped. IT all happened in split seconds. The trays and cups slided off from my grip and were smashed to smithereens. I fell with my butt on the floor, my upper right arm get cut by the edge of the stairs. For that moment, my heart was pounding so hard; I was so afraid that the pieces of broken glasses would somehow land onto my face or body. When I regained my composure, I noticed that all the shattered glasses were strewn on the stairs and the living hall.

My dad was in the living hall and the FIRST thing he exclaimed was. ‘Why didn’t you warn everyone that there are shattered glasses so that they will keep away from this area?” I was quite hurt, as he DID NOT ask me how my condition was, NOT at all worried that I might have been injured by the shattered glasses or sprained my ankle. Instead, he went on to say how I should NOT be running down the stairs, and that I should ask the maid to carry those stuff. I then broke into tears as my upper arm and my lower body were in pain, and I was hurt at dad’s insensitivity.

At once, I poured out the whole story about why I was carrying those stuff; I added ‘Dad, why didn’t ask me about my condition, instead, you go on and on to lecture me and ‘scold’ me when I did nothing wrong?’ (in Mandarin) My mum was already at the scene. She then toned things down (as always) and I guess my dad knew he was ‘wrong’ since he kept quiet. My maid had already been summoned to clear up the mess. Since the ‘traffic’ was obstructed, here I am, channeling my grouses.

Sometimes it is indeed hard to understand ‘the other kind of love’ shown by my dad. (Refer to past post) I really salute my mum for having such a big heart to accept dad for who he is. One not only can be shattered physically by broken glasses, but one’s heart can also be shattered by insensitivity. Wishful thinking- My ‘the one’ in future can be concern, expressive and sensitive, as I have been sort of ‘deprived’ from these.