PS, I Love You

Spoiler Alert: This post is about my views after reading 'PS I Love You' by Cecelia Ahern so any disclosure of plots is inevitable. By the way, a film adaptation is currently in development with Warner Brothers.


However, to me, even if you roughly know the plot, what is moving is not that; it is more so on the conversations and on Holly thoughts from time to time in getting over her deceased husband, Gerry. So read on if you wish.... ^_^


As childhood sweethearts, Holly and Gerry married each other and nobody could have imagined that they would ever be separated. Until the devastating news of Gerry's death due to brain tumour... Just when Holly thought she could no longer hear from Gerry, she received a bundles of notes, writte by Gerry while he was still alive, that guided her along the tough phase in her life.


Each note is meant for her to open at the beginning of each month and there are 9 notes in there, each signed 'PS I Love You'. For a brief overview of the notes:


1. Holly was asked to get a bedside lamp so that she doesn't keep tripping over in the dark.

2. Holly was asked to shop for and outfit which she would need next month.

3. Gerry had asked her to join a karoke competition is Club Diva. (Karaoke was her worst fear due to an embarassing incident that happened years ago)

4. Gerry told Holly, 'You don't need my belongings to remember me by; you do not need to keep them as proof that I existed or still exist in your mind. You don't need to wear my swater to feel me around you; I am already here...always wrapping my arms around you.'


So Holly was told to get rid of Gerry's clothes and other old stuff.


5. Gerry had booked a trip to Lanzorote, Spain, for Holly and her best friends, Sharon and Denise. It was really sweet of him to do that, knowing that she would love the beach.


6. Gerry guided her to check out the dorphins near the lighthouse in Lanzarote.


7. Gerry motivated Holly to find a job, telling her to 'shoot for the moond and if u miss you'll still be among the stars. Promise me you will find a job you love this time'.


8. Gerry urged Holly to go to the Christmas ball they never failed to attend with friends. Holly who initially didn't want to go as she didn't want to deal with his absence, decided to do so after reading the message.


9. The last message. 'Don't be afraid to fall in love again. Open your heart and follow where it leads you..and remember, shoot for the moon...'



A line that made impact on me was one spoken by Chris to Holly. He told her that 'some people spend a lifetime to search for their soulmates but never found them. We found ours, just that we had them for a shorter time. However, love lives on eventhough they are not around.'
(this is not a direct quote though)



What I like about this book is that, it portrays love not only as those 'rapid heartbeat, endless romance, countless sweet talks'. As you can tell from the messages, it revolves around life little things; those little things that when piece up, paint a sweet picture of what love is ultimately all about- endless care for your loved one.



I wonder if we were to given an expiry date to a relationship, how long it will be. Do not be idealist and tell me ' a lifetime'. We all know that as time goes by, we risk taking each other for granted, that's why people fall out of love. There is a sayings in Cantonese' yan liu kai yi fan hoi' which, loosely translated, mean 'we part because we know each other so well'.



This brings me to another thought. My mum used to tell me that people in marriage will be more tolerant of each other, because you know there is a commitment. Say you are really not happy with something your other half has done. If you two were a couple, you all could just call for a break-up. End of story.



However, if you two are married, you will think twice. You will think, 'we have come this far, so why not we take a step backward and make up?'. This is especially the case if you two have kids. My mum used to say that kids bond two people together, because the kid is their fruit of love; and they will have a mutual goal of raising the kids.



So what is marriage to you? Is it a graveyard to love as what some people harshly point out? Is it the proof of love that supposedly guarantee you a lifetime with your partner?



I believe that it is 'the next level' that couples take their relationship forward. I believe that if you have found your soulmate, you will want to spend a lifetime with him; just like you have spent a quarter of your lifetime with your parents, and why have you NOT gotten sick of them?? (though they may be times we wish we had other people's parents who would nag less, understand us more....but those were transient, childish thoughts at the time of sadness or anger)




Likewise, we know that when two people from different family background, upbringing, education, lifestyle, interests get together, there is bound to be frictions. Come on, we are not always at peace with our own siblings who have grown up with us, let alone, an outsider??
I used to ask my friends and question myself, 'will everything be easier if we treat out other half as our best friends? in the sense that we ask less and do not take them for granted so much?



Yet I find myself contradicting myself when I reach the infidelity part. Say my best friend (a girl) is not spending as much time with me because she has a boyfriend. I am ok with that. BUT, if the guy who is dating me is SEEING ANOTHER GIRL, I will be fuming mad!!!



Another example: If my buddy guy friend likes a girl and tells me, I will be teasing him and telling him all the tricks to melt a girl's heart. ^_^ If my boyfriend tells me how 'hot a girl in his uni/workplace looks in the mini skirt' I will not be pleased because I know he is fantasizing!! (I know all guys fantasize but the acceptance lies in the degree of fantasizing, and how much you can keep it to yourself so that you do not scare girls off by telling them you dream of having a passionate kiss with them).



I can accept the fact that we as human beings appreciate beauty- thus it is really fine if he tells me that he thinks this girl has beautiful eyes etc... However, if you say 'hot', implying figure and thus sex, it is really frustrating =P



So contradicting, I know. Aikz, as jin put it, we wish there is a guidebook that tells us where the line between buddy friends is, and where the line between couple is.